T.Lawrimore

1.28.12

tonilawrimore — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 17:45:54 +0000

“Why? Because He loves you. Because He loves you, that’s why. We’ve got this weird compartmentalization thing that happens where we don’t think that God sees everything we are, or if he could somehow know who you were going to be that he wouldn’t have gone through going to the cross.
God knew that you were going to be messy. Christ knew that you were going to be messy. God knows that you are going to screw up often.
He knows that you are going to be drawn to things that are wicked. That’s what the cross is all about. That’s the whole point of the cross—Is that you’re going to fail. You’re going to stumble. You’re going to feel dirty and awkward. The whole point of the cross of Christ is that there would be this mighty picture of His love and pursuit of you despite you. So, the cross is necessary because of you, but it is also the picture that we have of just how far God is willing to go because He loves you.”
-Matt Chandler

1.22.12

tonilawrimore — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 20:30:07 +0000

“The Word was made flesh, he lived among us… (John 1). In the bright darkness of faith, he heard Jesus say: ’Yes, the Word was made flesh, I chose to enter your broken world and limp through life with you.’

On the last day, when we arrive at the Great Cabin in the Sky, many of us will be bloodied, battered, bruised, and limping. But, by God and by Christ, there will be a light in the window and a ‘welcome home’ sign on the door.”

-Brennan Manning

2011 in review.

tonilawrimore — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:17:34 +0000

in 2011 I…

frolicked. aggressively.
celebrated. weddings. birthdays. anniversaries. so much joy. so much triumph.
traveled. tasted new foods. explored new places.
learned. a lot. so many tears. so thankful.
rediscovered my love for writing.
started graduate school. i love being a student.
worked. hard. learned more about discipline.
got the opportunity to teach. i love being a teacher.
ended the year how i started it: reading isaiah 55. it’s amazing how things come full circle.

…lived the dream.

12.27.11

tonilawrimore — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 23:59:00 +0000

“Violent Passion Surrogate. Regularly once a month. We flood the whole system with adrenin. It’s the complete physiological equivalent of fear and rage. All the tonic effects of murdering Desdemona and being murdered by Othello, without any of the inconveniences.”

“But I like the inconveniences.”

“We don’t,” said the Controller. “We prefer to do things comfortably.”

“But I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.”

“In fact,” said Mustapha Mond, “you’re claiming the right to be unhappy.”

“All right then,” said the Savage defiantly, “I’m claiming the right to be unhappy.”

“Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer; the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.” There was a long silence.

“I claim them all,” said the Savage at last.

Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. “You’re welcome,” he said.

— from Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World

reposted from http://www.mtbaileyonline.com.

12.17.11

tonilawrimore — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 20:33:33 +0000

Advent Reflections.
And to those who need freedom from shame:

Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The LORD has taken away the judgments against you; he has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst; you shall never again fear evil. On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Fear not, O Zion; let not your hands grow weak.
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. I will gather those of you who mourn for the festival, so that you will no longer suffer reproach.
Behold, at that time I will deal with all your oppressors. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth. At that time I will bring you in, at the time when I gather you together; for I will make you renowned and praised among all the peoples of the earth, when I restore your fortunes before your eyes,” says the LORD.
ZEPHANIAH 3:14-20

12.10.11

tonilawrimore — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 17:51:04 +0000

Mrs. Lazarus

I had grieved. I had wept for a night and a day
over my loss, ripped the cloth I was married in
from my breasts, howled, shrieked, clawed
at the burial stones until my hands bled, retched
his name over and over again, dead, dead.Gone home. Gutted the place. Slept in a single cot,
widow, one empty glove, white femur
in the dust, half. Stuffed dark suits
into black bags, shuffled in a dead man’s shoes,
noosed the double knot of a tie around my bare neck,

gaunt nun in the mirror, touching herself. I learnt
the Stations of Bereavement, the icon of my face
in each bleak frame; but all those months
he was going away from me, dwindling
to the shrunk size of a snapshot, going,

going. Till his name was no longer a certain spell
for his face. The last hair on his head
floated out from a book. His scent went from the house.
The will was read. See, he was vanishing
to the small zero held by the gold of my ring.

Then he was gone. Then he was legend, language;
my arm on the arm of the schoolteacher-the shock
of a man’s strength under the sleeve of his coat-
along the hedgerows. But I was faithful
for as long as it took. Until he was memory.

So I could stand that evening in the field
in a shawl of fine air, healed, able
to watch the edge of the moon occur to the sky
and a hare thump from a hedge; then notice
the village men running towards me, shouting,

behind them the women and children, barking dogs,
and I knew. I knew by the sly light
on the blacksmith’s face, the shrill eyes
of the barmaid, the sudden hands bearing me
into the hot tang of the crowd parting before me.

He lived. I saw the horror on his face.
I heard his mother’s crazy song. I breathed
his stench; my bridegroom in his rotting shroud,
moist and dishevelled from the grave’s slack chew,
croaking his cuckold name, disinherited, out of his time.

-Carol Ann Duffy

wow.

11.26.11

tonilawrimore — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 02:35:54 +0000

dang.

11.14.11

tonilawrimore — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:01:21 +0000

Johnsonville.

tonilawrimore — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 04:02:55 +0000

oh, brothers, let’s go down
down in the river to pray.

10.8.11

tonilawrimore — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 19:53:35 +0000

“It was only for a second that my eyes locked with yours, only one moment, but I will never forget you. It was a beautiful day, but by the look on your face, I’m sure you never noticed. I had been told about these things before — I hoped they were not true. But when I saw you locked tightly in the arm of that old white man, held like a trophy, imprisoned like a slave, I knew it was real. Undeniably, painfully, real. Here an injustice stared me in the face.

A child, maybe 14 years of age, your value and worth cheapened by the man who held you, your eyes a heartbreaking reflection of experiences you should never have had.

Lust. Objectification. Selfish desire.
You are nothing but a tourist attraction to him.

I am sickened by the thought that some people believe you could be purchased so simply, just like a toy. Why must your experience of the word love be so distorted, so crude?

Why are we, lovers of justice, not flying across nations and oceans to be with you? Do those men value you more, because they are willing to spend their time and money?

Shouldn’t we have more of a passion to pursue you?”
-Sex + Money, A Global Search for Human Worth